POMPUAN KUAT EMO!

Semalam hari 'ulang tahun jadi orang' untuk Mr Semtz.
Tahun ni ulang tayang kali ke 36! (Whooaa still 4 more years before his life starts! *Men's life starts at 40 rite?)

Celebration?
Nada.
Petang semalam balik kerja kami cuma beli Big Apple donuts (sebab dia taknak kek -takut lagi gemuk.. err donut lagi menggemukkan, kan?).
Pastu sampai umah aku bersilat kat dapur gorengkan mee sanggul masak blackpepper (sebab dia taknak nasi - takut lagi gemuk... err.. mee goreng lagi banyak minyak kan?).

Itu je menu birthday dinner suamiku.

Presents?
Nada.
Aku suh Mikail kish je papa dia as present. Ok la tu.. aku pon takde birthday present maa.

Photos?
Nada (tersedak le sape nama Nada ni iyeee)
Maleh nak snap gambor birthday boy pakai baju Pagoda ngan kain pelikat Cap Gajah Duduk tengah makan secara ayu mee sanggul kaler tak mengancam.
Korang bayangkan je cukup la.

Anyway, despite the 'cool' celebration at home, his FB was heated up with zillions birthday wishes from his FB frens.

Okay maybe NOT zillion, like 50 wishes or so lah.

And being the kaypoh mak nenek wife, I went thru the wishes ONE BY ONE. Hehe aku tau, aku paranoid.
Saje suke nak baca sape la yang wish besday kat laki aku ni, eh eh mamat ni mutual fren ni kat aku tak pulak ko wish ek, eh eh mamat ni ayat jiwang karat cam pompuan laa, eh eh so sweet doakan untuk wife jugak, eh eh panjangnye wish ko ni lelaki ke pompuan ni, eh eh canggih la wish ko lain dari yang lain nanti aku nak pinjam la ayat ko, eh eh sape pompuan ni laki aku kenal ke, eh eh pompuan ni like pulak status laki aku sape ko ni ek?
Curious.
Aku pun klik kat gambo dia.  
'NO FEEDS AVAILABLE'

Ok fine, kena kawan dulu baru leh kenal ek.

Takpe-takpe. Aku klik kat album dia.  
'1 album available'

Woohoo! Gambo profile kemain lawo ko pompuan, meh kita kaypo tengok rupe ko cemana hehehehe! *gelak jahat isteri curiga

Bukak album, tu dia! 250 pictures of her & some girl friends on holiday.
Sampai gambor yang ke 20 lebih aku dah angkat tangan.
Tak larat nak browse dah. Dah cukup aku tengok siapa gerangannya.
Aku tak kenal.
Dan Aku YAKIN Mr Semtz pun tak kenal.
Sebab dia bukan sebaya kitorang pun.
Dia memang pandai pilih profile pic yang menunjukkan dia MASIH in her 20s.
Kenyataannya? Errmmm aku agak dari mekap tebal, gaya rambut, gaya posing, gaya baju, gaya kawan-kawan dia, she is AT LEAST, 45 years old.
Tak tipu, memang Ah So.
A bit plump but fashionable Ah So who clearly has no connection with my husband but is added as his friend in FB.

Eh eh Ija yang ko nak tuduh pompuan ni pulak pehal. Ntah-ntah laki ko yang add dia ke apa ke!

Aku tak marah pon part sape add sape.
I admit there was a time both of us were crazily adding strangers to our fren's list for the sake of 'networking' under the scheming MLM thing (PAST-TENSED. Aku dah fed up ngan MLM ni jangan approach aku nanti aku sepak!).
So, there is a chance Mr Semtz telah add dia berdasarkan profile pic dia yang muda bergetah tu dan Mr Semtz terfikir dalam kepala 'Eh awek cun muda ni mesti nak duit banyak buat beli mekap2 ke baju2 branded ke bek aku add dia bole ajak join kot2 dia terpesona dgn kemachoan aku mau dia trus bank in duit join immediately!' *ayat rekaan penulis
Fine lah, lelaki macho + pompuan muda = *closing (*slang MLM)

Cuma aku pelik kenapa dia nak wish laki aku epi besday kalo dia tak kenal laki aku tu?
He is a married man.
She could be married too for all I care.
Isn't it a bit TAK SESUAI to wish a random MARRIED guy fren in your FB list a happy besday?
And don't say it's because they are friends in FB!
Do people wish ALL their FB frens happy besday?
Oooh? She DOES wish ALL her FB frens on their birthday? Then I rest my case lah.

OK, she might not meant any harm by doing just that but guess what? The harm is done!
Aku mencurigai suamiku sendiri. 

And this is why I think there should be these rules regarding FB for married people:

• Add only people BOTH of you KNOW and if the other half doesn't, then introduce them
• Add job related people of the SAME jantina (eg, miss cute receptionist-with-long-hair-smelling-nice at hubby's company is a NO. Ah yes MAKCIK canteen also cannot. Pompuan kan?)
• Add the SAME people your spouse adds
• Make status like 'I love my wife today she cooked me a mee sanggul goreng blackpepper which I think NO female in my FRIEND LIST here can lawan so jangan menggatal ok!'
• Write on your spouse's wall with words like 'Hi Hubby!' 'Hi isteriku sayang!' so that your FB frens can see you are very much in love mutually and they will say 'Cheh, ngengada la laki bini ni, nak muntah aku!', so NOBODY will WANT to kacau you/spouse because you make people puke hehehe
• Don't join MLM. It involves getting to know strangers on no friendly-basis. 

Ada banyak lagi aku terpikir tapi malas nak taip dan tangan aku keras kejung dek sejuk aircon office ni (errkk kantoi blogging kat opis *ahem)

Jadi, point aku di sini, aku paranoid sekejap bila nampak ada pompuan tak dikenali wish happy besday kat FB Mr Semtz.
Normal ke perangai aku ni?
Aku bukan nye jenis cemburu buta pon tapi entah kenapa kali ni ter'over' emo plak.
Kenapa ek?
Sebab laki aku bertambah hensem ke? *tadah baldi sape nak muntah?
Sebab aku yang bertambah tua dan rasa insecure ke?
Sebab aku takde topik untuk entri jadi aku guna perasaan-tak-berapa-penting ni untuk buat entri best jadi boleh dapatkan mood berblog ke?

Pompuan, pompuan...
Emo tak habis-habis.
Aku pun tak paham perangai aku sendiri hehehe.


Sekian terima kasih.

Entri ni aku akhiri dengan gambar takde kena mengena langsung.

Nasi+kentang+carrot+bayam blended. Mikail makan semangkuk ni 2 kali sehari. Banyak ke?

P/S: haah aku nak guna bahasa rojak dalam blog ni sebab ada ayat yang ditulis dalam Bahasa Melayu pasar tak kena dengan maksud yang aku cuba nak sampaikan, so, to all cikgu-cikgu BM yang baca blog aku - ai em soriiii!

P/S/S: Mr Semtz takde affair tau. Korang jangan nak memandai wat cerita, kan aku cakap kat tajuk tu- POMPUAN KUAT EMO. Ada aku letak tajuk MR SEMTZ MEN KAYU BERTIGA-TIGA? Isk isk iskk